Legal Humor: “Party On” in State Court
Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!
Going with my recent fascination with humorous court opinions, I found this little beauty: Noble v. Bradford 789 F. Supp. 395 (1992).
Basically, the case is about removal jurisdiction, which the District Judge comically denies.
“ORDER OF REMAND
This matter comes before the court sua sponte. After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court enters the following order.
Hurling Chunks
On October 11, 1988, while berthed at the facilities of BRADFORD MARINE, INC. (”BRADFORD”), a fire spewed from the M/V Prime Time, a boat owned by PRIME TIME CHARTERS, INC. (”PRIME TIME”). The blaze hurled chunks of flaming debris to other vessels, destroying those owned by LYN C. NOBLE (”NOBLE”) and ROBERT C. MUIR (”MUIR”). Thereafter, NOBEL and MUIR commenced, on June 7, 1989, and July 15, 1989, respectively, separate actions in the Circuit Court for the Seventeenth Judicial Circuit, in and for Broward County, Florida….
Like a Winged Monkey Flying Out of the Ashes. . .
A district court may, and always should, determine sua sponte whether its subject matter jurisdiction has been properly invoked….
NOT!
The addition of a new Defendant in an Amended Complaint, however, does not start the time for removal anew when the original Complaint itself was removable….
A Schwing and a Miss….
In short, PRIME TIME’s most bogus attempt at removal is ‘not worthy’ and the Defendants must ‘party on’ in state court.”
Incase you missed the insinuations, this opinion was delivered in 1992 – the same year Wayne’s World was released. Obviously, the judge and/or clerk were big fans. However, I’m not sure if that’s what I’d want going through the judges mind when deciding my case. Nonetheless, too funny!
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